Several days ago I saw the words in an old issue of a Polish Catholic weekly: “Take this baby and nurse him for me”, taken from the story of the little Moses, found among the reeds.

The last week at the Harbour was devoted to FertilityCare – taking care of those who fight for their parenthood against complex medical problems. At the other extreme there are children awaited by nobody, the ones that are seen as a burden or whose birth is hanging by a single thread. I think about them when I read those words. In Exodus they are uttered by the pharaoh’s wife but what would happen if we saw in them the desire of God Himself? “Nurse them for me”? For the Father who walks the different paths of life and collects all those abandoned, defective, unwanted? No, we should say: the Father who is the source of life of each and everyone and existence has its deepest and unique sense in Him only.

He is also the Father of children whose parents overestimate their role. Then the children become “mine”, “own”, “planned”. We worry to death about them and agonise about their future, including the defence of M.Sc. thesis, of the Ph. D. thesis or possibly even further. And then “nurse him for me” brings the parental omnipotence back down to its natural, limited dimensions.

Children. Born for eternity. Born with the desire to meet Love that has called them to life. Like each of us.

M

Countryside. I decide to take the children to the forest on bikes. Although Grandpa says it is dangerous like like the whole life, because a branch can fall down and kill you without a warning for example. We go.

Karol, the 7-year-old son of the neigbours, takes the lead, my children call after him in the dust of gravel road. I go at the end. Karol suddenly turns and disappears. When we reach him, he says he will lead us because he knows here everything. I oppose a bit as after the rain it night it is wet so it can turn out that the road will be impassable further ahead and we’ll have to go back.

At the folliwing, pictoreaque turn Karol stops again, waits for us and explains: “There will be a big pool but we’ll manage to go through the middle. Then two big holes on either side. But we’ll manage. Going through the middle”.

We go, the pool is enormous, the mud unbelievable, but we go through. In the middle. And I am full of admiration. If I should ever be responsible for people in any kind of undertaking, I’d like to have Karol’s style. Not Grandpa’s with the vision of a catastrophe. And neither being left in the dust behind the leader. I’d like that devoting time to telll about things ahead and ways to conquer the obstacle. And the encourage “we’ll manage”.

Such leaders are so needed in life. I was to take the children for a bike, but the children have taken me.

M

A 6-month-old baby does not pretend. He is joyful when it leaves the mum’s breat for a while and looks into her eyes. He is afraid when he wakes up during a walk and sees the trees. I look at these big, fearful eyes and I say, “I am here, son, daddy is here’. My wife says the same and then I notice I know these words. This is the name of God. Am I so helpless and afraid in His eyes, like a child, when He says ‘Do not be afraid, I am’?

Andrzej J.

A long time ago I heard a story that has stuck in my memory ever since.

War. Two brothers in arms. A company is forced to retreat under heavy fire. One of the two is severely wounded. After some time the latter becomes aware that the other one was left on the battlefield. He comes back, looks for him among the dead and finds him still alive. He takes on his back and carries him under fire.

When he reaches the camp, his friend is dead. His wounds were too severe and there was nothing to be done anyway. His colleagues ask him whether it was worth risking his life. He looks at them, astonished, that they ask such a question. He says, “When I found him, still conscious, he said “I knew you’d come”‘.

Coming back instead of pushing forward, taking a roundabout way, exposing oneself to a danger, giving one’s life for the others. Even among nonsense and turmoil. The final proof that you’re important to me. My husband, my wife, my daughter, my friend.

M

Our children and we – the parents – have great fun putting into practice the ideas for games described in the following book:

All kinds of rough and tumble play, pillow fights, rolling and cuddling are for us the time of laughter, relax, joy and being close to one another. We strengthen the ties among us and get rid of our resentments and stress.

According to the authors of this book physical games have an impact on physical and psychical health. Among other things, they develop children’s courage, confidence, trust and perseverance.

We recommend it!

Basia and Michał

The school year has just come to an end. We can tell it also by the piles of materials, certificates, and textbooks brought home. I find our son Christopher’s kindergarten religion notebook. In it – the letters written with a visibly great effort: “Jesus, I trust You”

“Oh, you how wonderful!”, I’m saying with joy. “I copied it”, Chris proudly replies. Does he already know it’s good to follow the example of the Saints? 😉

His work impresses me. You can say: even a child knows. He knows more than an adult person, what trust means. Trust is about letting things go off your hands and letting Someone else to catch. To trust is to accept your poverty, so that Someone else can fill it in the way He wants it. To trust is to let the others take care of you, when you don’t really know what to do. It’s accpeting your husband’s advice when he tells you: “don’t take anything more on your head”. It’s about setting off on a journey even if you don’t know all the answers. Just as you set off on a holiday, and surely you won’t be able to remember about “everything”.

In order to trust, you need to find a child within you. Imperfect, writing badly formed letters, but drawing huge hearts. Imperfect, but loved without end.

M

…with families are sometimes risky. They may end up in giving you a new identity which you’ll find difficult to live with. Meaning: it’s definitely more than you are, and still you may feel obliged to accomplish the goal of fulfilling the expectations.

That’s how it was. Two days ago I went to the beach with a group of families. I seemed to be taking my trip solo, but on the way we were walking together. When we got to the beach, some families went left and some right. I stayed independent in the middle. After a time I decide to check the temperature of the Baltic Sea. I noticed a large shallow area, going far into the sea. To the left and to the right of it the water was knee-deep and deeper close to the shore, and here you could walk for many meters and only your feet beneath your ankles got wet. Froma  distance it might look like the way of moving aroud the see in a Gospel-like manner. So I didn’t have to wait long for response. One of the children cried out: “Look, Mum, God is walking on the water!!!” It turned out I stand for “God” in their language.

And today at dinner one of the boys told his mother that he’d “played with Jesus.” Ufff. I felt a bit relieved. Maybe in a few days I’ll get down to my own identity: a priest. But even that identity is so obliging. To set example for children, to make the world of prayer safe, close, and warm, and to ispire the longing to become part of that world – that is really obliging.

That is to continue the thought of our M from the previous post. Wether you are a Mum or Dad, Wife or Husband, Piest or Sister – you need to grow to match your name. The lives of the others depend on that. The way they discover the dignity of a person depends on that.

From Wisełka, retreat group 1

Fr Jay

The other day I went to the cinema to see “Mud” (USA 2013). In choosing the film I took a blind shot, so to speak; I guess if I’d known before how difficult that movie was, I’d have waited for the newest “Star Trek”. It is a difficult film, because with the eyes of a 14-year-old boy we watch the world in which adults just fail to be what they were meant to.

When the boy’s father says that he and his mother are going to file for divorce, the boy expresses his deeply-rooted natural belief that in marriage people should love and support each other. “That is not so obvious,” his dad replies, thus declaring the bankruptcy of the relationship with his wife, and – for the boy – announcing the end of his own safe world.

There are more noteworthy secenes. For example, when the father and mother are trying to prove to their son who is more to blame, who’s worse in their marriage. And they don’t see that their child couldn’t care less about that, because his world collapses the moment their unity breaks. Or the scenes in which you see that they’re so overwhlemed by their own problems that they don’t find time to continue the conversation with their son beyond the brief “are you hungry?” or “where’s that black eye from?”.

So much depends on us, adults, parents – no matter how “incompetent” we sometimes feel in that role. And it’s not only important what and how we act seperately, but what we create together as a couple.

M

One mother told me about the great joy she experienced when she saw her youngest sons’ reaction to the view of the sea. They were so shocked and so moved, that they were not able to find any proper form to express rupture. They ran back and forth between the water and their Mum. And then they saw the ships on the sea – and again were thrilled.

Thanks to children we are given the chance to experience again the joy of things we’ve got used to.

This is the truth taken straight from the Gospel: “Unless you become like little children…”

Reatreat is also the time to feel again the thrill of things that have become ordinary and known. To refresh the way we look at each other and to use simple gestures – which maybe only need to be aired with the wind from the sea.

Remembering you in my heart,

Fr Jay

This Programme could probably be so called. It is a very long perspective. Being a parent today means becoming a grandparent sometime in the future. We’d like to prepare our children as well as possible for this new dignity and responsibility: to become parents.

When we look at these kids today, it’s difficult to imagine them tomorrow as parents but we know that some time they can assume this role.

How should we prepare them for it, how should we equip them so that some time they can cope even better than we did?

Our idea is to take more care of one’s marriage. The ancient saying went “verba docent, exempla trahunt”, words teach buut examples attract.

It was an intensive weekend but thanks to it the following weeks may be much more beautiful. So much depends on us…

I remember you fondly
Father Jarosław