Unfortunately – because it’s the farewell day and the beautiful meeting comes to an end.

Today, apart from going to my own lecture:) and the talk of Louise Kirk, whom you probably from our trip to the UK, I have gone to all those session that were dedicetd to fatherhood. And I liked them veeery much. Not only were they very good as farr as the subject matter is concerned bacause they showed how much the presence of a father changed the lives of children and influenced their future functioning in life but also they were presented by excellent speakers – husbands who also followed their vocation as fathers.

So many knew people I got to know, so many inspirations, good experiences. Family is always the same, regardless of the latitude, confession, skin colour…

A novelty at the congress was a fashion show – where fashion was presented that expossed the dignity of woman.

I remembered then our fashion show, organised my by students of Personalistic Bases of Conjugal Love, where the students presented collections of clothes for different occasions, each outfit received a mark “L&R” (Love and Responsibility approved, conforming to the personalistic norm). Perhaps the possibilities were more limited than at the show here but the clothes presented were fit for different occasions, not only for extra nights out. Of course I did not hesitate to suggest it to the author of the show, Judy Limbers. She liked the idea. Their Facebook page is The Dress Shoppe.

Finally we heard the Tongan Touth Choir.

And, as usual, it was difficult to say goodbye. I wanted totalk a little with everyone and thank for the good. Wepromise to each other that we’ll meet again next year, meaning 1-12 September 2014. For many people it will be much closer. There’s also an idea to go to the congress in Moscow from Vladivostok, with the famous Trans-Siberian railway, 2 weeks before. It sounds good to me.

Tomorrow I have one day for myself to do some sightseeing in Sydney.

So far I have had mixed impressions of Sydney. I stay in theory in Sydney but in reality in… Chinatown. The whole district where our hotel is located consists of shops, restaurants and offices with names in Chinese.

Best greetings

Father Jaroslaw

Every day we have a plenary session in the morning and in the evening, as well es 4 seminar sessions a day, 5 thematic blocks in every session and 3 to 4 speakers. People from nearly every part of the world. An incredible place for the exchange of experiences. Every day I wonder a lot which subject to choose because each of them seems very important and worth hearing.

For example, do you know that there are 1 billion active users of the Facebook? I mean active users, not merely registered ones! That 43% people start their day, checking their account? And that the most active group is women, aged from 12 to 24? And the majority are 15 years old girls?

It’s worth knowing.

Each of us has something good to say to the whole world. It’s not important whether this world is the child whom we say that it’s our greatest treasure or our spouse whom we make a nice surprise today because I want to, or our neighbours, or colleagues, or… Facebook friends.
from Sydney

Father Jay

The local Committee has chosen a rather symbolic place for our Congress:  Australian Technology Park, the former railway yards. The place that used to promote technology, today hosts the event promoting family as the right point of reference.

One of the speakers today said: If you would like to go fast, go alone, if you would like go far, go together. I liked it a lot. The family is a place where you can go furthest. Contemporary civilization would like to turn us into isolated individuals fighting over their own selfish rights. For an individual – it is easy to accomplish the goals very quickly, but you remain single. When you walk together with the others – maybe it will take more time to achieve all the goals, because you have to adjust your pace to the slowest member of the team, but you may go far and share the joy of the covered distance with other people.

That is visible also in my situation. I’ve seen so many beautiful things, I’ve been to so many wonderful places, but it makes you feel really sad when you can’t take there with you your near ones, your friends – with whom you could share your joy. That’s why it is so important for me to share  my experiences with you. I am aware that since I have dominated the blog for over 6 weeks, we have diverged a bit from what this website was trying to be: the inspiration for discovering the joy of being a couple, a family. So I’m taking the right course again with my posts from the WCF.

One of the questions that people keep asking is: what can we do in such difficult times?The family is ipersecuted with growing intensity, the governments of many countries change the definition of a family, where should we hide to escape that? We’ll find the answer with the first Christians. At that time, the situation was about the same as now: abortion, divorce at request, promiscuity, homosexualism, pagan worship of false gods, idolatry. What did the Christians do when they were persecuted for several centuries? They looked after their families: they were faithful to each other, open to life, they prayed. Rome fell. Christianity survived.

“Oh, how much we’d like to be in your shoes” – I’ve heard once from a couple that want a child very much but wait in vain for one. In an informal conversation I described to them daily life of oir fanily with four children, expecting the birth of the next one soon. My description was consisted by no means of superlatives only.

Another woman, very young, told me that one child was quite enough for her. She had many children at her workplace. “I am very much in favour of children but I don’t yet feel ready, mature enough” – I heard from another myoung married woman. “Lets’s be honest, we are simply afraid. If God helped me, I would be very happy, but I am unable to do it myself” – that sentence I heard when people congratulated us on the birth of our child. To have the full picture, I need perhaps to add athe opposite view: the words of a woman that I noted here:

http://inharbour.wordpress.com/2012/09/17/two-images/

The attitudes towards parenthood are so different and dependent on so many factors. I have written once on the colours of our life. They are varied, too. However – and I am absolutely sure of it – life is always a gift entrusted to us. It is a mistake to usurp the right to dispose of it completely. And this is for me a basic colour.

We’re after the Connference. The tension slowly subsides. In spite of my stage fright, I managed to speak in a foreign language about the beautiful and fragile gift – human sexuality. And to say how important is what we show and say to our children so that later they can live their lives, creating the civilisation of life and love. Your prayers have helped so much.

The organisers were nicely surprised at the numbers of the participants – though we are all fully aware that we are a minority. But still, as Benedict XVI said, it is a part of society that can contribute to it so much. When Jesus called the 12 Apostles, he knew very well that it is not even a tiny drop.  And He keeps giving us tasks that are beyond our strength.  He wants us to count on Him, trust Him, open ourselves to the grace and try to do the impossible.

And we need to bear in mind that the Catholics are a real minority here – 2% of the society are practising Catholics, a large part of them used to be Anglicans or Methodists, they have the government and the media against them and it requires from them a lot of efforts and work.

After the challenging conference, according to the guidelines of Alfred Hitchcock, we need to go up one level and organise Programme 1 for the British participants. Which means the continuation of prayer alarm with support for our Team.

Fr Jay

being ripped off our continental habits.

David Kirk, Louise’s Husband, was so kind to come and pick us up from Manchester Airport.

After a 40-minutes’ drive – getting this strange feeling that we’re on the wrong side of the carriageway – we arrive at a beautiful farmhouse, dating back to the 16th century in its oldest part. Being welcomed in such a place gives us an extraordinary feeling.

At dinner we meet Tom, a friend of David’s from the times of his study at Oxford University. He is the editor of Louise’s book on educating children in sexuality, which will be launched tomorrow during the conference.

We could go on talking till the morning, but our better judgement tells us to go to our rooms. For us it is already 1 o’clock a.m. (local time is 1h ahead of Poland). It’s been a very intense day, and we should expect tomorrow to be even more busy.

We commend ourselves to your prayer,

Your English correspondent,

Fr. Jay

(with Margaret from our blog team and her Husband Andrew)

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g2cUouN328]

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A priest I know once said to me sadly, ‘These Polish children are so poor, so often unwanted’. As if to confirm this diagnosis, the next day I heard from my friend whom I hadn’t seen for a long time the following: ‘We have two children already, a boy and a girl, and I hope that’s gonna be it’.

And then I remembered the blessed Zelia Martin, the mother of St. Therese of the Child Jesus. She wrote in one of her letters to her sister-in-law that she loved her children madly and she’d been born to have them. And yet her motherhood brought her so much suffering. When she wrote those words, just before the birth of her youngest, ninth daughter – Therese, she had gone through many diseases and through the loss of her “four angels”, the children who died early. She felt a lot of pain because of the problems with one of her daughters, “the poor Leonia”. She knew better than anyone else that motherhood did not only mean joy. Still, she loved her children madly and wanted to have more. And what she desired most was that her children “be saint”, she wanted to bear them “for heaven”.

Why not take a look at our parenthood  with the eyes of faith in the Year of Faith?

Basia

You tell me:

– Being with children is tiring for us.

You are right.

Yo say:

– Because we have to talk down to them, lower ourselves to their concepts.

Stoop, condescend, shrink.

You are wrong.

This is not what is tiring for us. It is that we have to climb to their feelings.

Reach high, stretch ourselves, stand on our toes.

So as not to hurt.

Janusz Korczak When I am small again

There is the pain of the rejected, for whom there was no room to become someone they would have been, had they been given the chance to come to this world. The Father of Love and Life, taking them in His arms, must have surely explained it to them that the reason for rejection was not their fault. That they weren’t off-putting, too complicated and too difficult, dangerous and ugly, and thus related with the trash they ended up in before they managed to take the firtst breath.

There is the pain of those who did not accept them, because something was missing – knowledge, courage, love, support from the others. Because there was someone who suggested a quick solution for a modest fee, but gave no guarantee for the consequences. And will never listen to that ear-splitting inner cry of the years to come. The cry which echoes that first cry which has never resonated in the hospital room. And will not miss the warmth of a cheek. And will not ask himself the question who it would have become, if.

Many people say both kinds of pain have been just made up. It really is sometimes denied to such an extent that it is not believed to exist.

But “pro-life” does not result from the detachment from reality. “Pro-life” arises from the pain of the former and the latter.

Małgosia