“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of Godmay be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

God knows us very well, he knows we give up easily while facing failure or hardship. Aware of our weaknesses, He doesn’t expect us to become perfect right away – so that we instantly accomplish the ideal of sainthood.

He wants us to be saint and He gives time to go the way. And in His Word He equips us on that way with specific hints, advice and inspiration!

It’s only up to us – whether we use them or waste them.

I wish you all a good day 😉

Dosia

or on the potential of love:

“Love is never something ready made, something merely ‘given’ to man and woman; it is at the same time a ‘task’ which they are set. Love should be seen as something which in a sense never ‘is’ but is always only ‘becoming,’ and what it becomes depends upon the contribution of both persons and the depth of their commitment”. (K. Wojtyła*)

* Love and Responsibility, William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1981, p.139

…to find time for organizing Program 1: “You and I are We” (couple reatreat) in Łomianki, Poland, together with the marriage preparation course “Gaudium et spes”. We welcomed a dozen or so couples.

The schedule was arranged in such a way so that I could move from the married couples to fiances and back. For the former group of participants – the program was a chance of coming back to each other, finding each other after months of years of being lost; for the latter –  it was the opportunity to face the questions that one doesn’t notice at this stage of relationship.

When I do Program 1 I always recalll those who have already taken part in it. I would like them to find some time to moor in our Harbour despite their manifold activities and tasks.

Together with you I make the first steps in this new week: on Monday – I remember the lesson of gentleness, on Tuesday – I’ll remember how to show respect, Wednesday will be my day of creativity, freedom and joy in treating my life as a gift for the others, Thursday will refresh my rituals, Friday is the invitation to dialogue abounding in tenderness, so that on Saturday my gift could express the purest word of my love.

It doesn’t take much for a married couple to nourish the love necessary “not only to survive the joys and sorrows of daily life, but also to grow, so that husband and wife become in a way one heart and one soul, and together attain their human fulfillment” (HV 9).

It doesn’t take much, does it?

I’m keeping you in my memory.

Fr. Jay

“There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.” (1 Corinthians 12:4-6)

I used to be think that the ideal of proximity consists in becoming “the same” – the kind of unity in which “the fewer differences, the better.”

I’ve come to understand, however, that I owe a lot to those who differ from me in their style of acting, thinking and feeling. Thanks to them I can widen my own (and often narrow) perspective, I can grow in open-mindedness and make my own world richer. And I can reach out all the time beyond my own self – in order to try to understand the other person and to respect them more in their otherness.

Becasue any difference shouldn’t turn us into battling sides, entrenched up to ears in our views. It’ll be so much more interesting if I treat the difference as the call for building unity – in the richness of variety.

Basia

What happened, shouldn’t have happened indeed. So there were bitter words on the part of the customer, expressing his disappointment and dissatisfaction. There were also my sincere words of apology expressing how really sorry I was, and admitting my fault.

I remembered this situation after I’d read the comment made by Fr. Mariusz, ending with his wishes for us: “may there be only beautiful words between you.” Beautiful words are truthful words. I think the words of apology belong to that category. Let’s be able to admit our fault and say “sorry”, even though it is sometimes very difficult.

In the end, the customer called me again after some time to apologize for his words, if they’d hurt me. It’s also important to know how to accept apology.

I would like to thank Fr. Mariusz for his beautiful words.

Michał

*the reply do “remain in Me” (in Polish)

“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”  (John 15:2)

Jesus won’t give up on us so easily, we cost Him too much.* He wants us to grow, to develop, to transform our thinking. That’s why He demands from us. Every “cutting” and “pruning” hurts (as when you visit your dentist). After such treatment, however, we are more beautiful and mature.

^* Padre Pio used to say that.

Dosia

A friend of mine told me about his trip to the place of his most beautiful childhood memories. How disappointed he was to find a partly burned down, and partly demolished, ruin of a building. That’s when he understood that the house had been there only thanks to his grandpa’s concern and care for it.

When we heard this story,  we were just about to return home from our stay in the countryside. In “our countryside”, where everything has been arranged to give rest. “Heaven on earth” – that’s how our friends call it, but in the past it used to be just an ordinary farm, left by the autohthons after WW II and took over by my husband’s grandparents, forcibly repatriated from the eastern territories. Later, my husband’s family pulled the barn down, brick by brick, turned the farmhouse into a simple place of summer accomodation, and the yard – into a vast space of a loan with a small vineyard, orchard and pine grove.

So I may lie down in a hammock, because someone planted the trees. The kids may run about barefoot, because someone carefully collected all the stones and sharp twigs, and mowed the loan.

How much effort is necessary for things to REMAIN. Not just to “BE”. If things are to remain, you have to check, if nothing is breaking down, if there is something that should be repaired or improved.*

Home. The relationship with Him. Relationship with the husband. With the children. With relatives. Friends.

Without the effort of looking after things, everything – sooner or later – changes into barren land. So I’m taking a closer look at my relationships and check if I “remian” in them, or just “am” with no consiousness or sense of purpose. And if someone important does not miss me.

Małgosia

*Fr. Mariusz Białobłocki, parish priest in Rychtal, Poland; Homily from May 6, 2012.

We’ve just come back after a very looooong weekend.* Most probably many of us spent it with family. Today we have to settle back in “normality.” We are getting down to work in order to be able to go with the whole family on holiday very soon – that’s what we have in view.

Was there anything during that weekend that I’d particularly like to repeat? Or maybe some lessons learnt of things I’d rather avoid next time?

And what sounds like “normality” to me? Being together with my family, or being at work?

Fr. Jay

*Because of two festive days, which are public holidays in Poland (May 1 and May 3), the “long weekend” this year lasted as much as 9 days – from the evening of April 27 till Sunday, May 6!

“Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you. . . They rejoice in Thy name all day long” (Psalm 89:15-16)

Happy are those who can rejoice! So it’s not true that our sense of happiness depends only on external circumstances, it comes and goes unexpectedly. It’s more the question of the inner capacity – a skill that you can learn. For example from little children, who are experts in the field of joy, they never worry in advance and forget very quickly the reason for tears they shed. I have to admit that learning to enjoy things is my favourite area of self-mastery.

Sometimes you need to help yourself to see the bright side of life (go on a date with your husband, meet friends, take a walk, have some good coffee, read a good book, watch a film…). In one word: do something that makes you happy.

And that’s what I’d like to wish all the Readers for this Sunday. In plenty.

Basia

A couple of years ago, during the reatreat for families on the Wolin Island, Poland, Fr. Jay used this metaphor of a river to talk about married life. He said, over a time, sludge deposits in the riverbed. And you have to be able to deal with this muddy staff.

Sledge is whatever hurts us in marriage – misunderstandings, unkind words, hurtful behavior, unfulfilled expectations, etc.

Fr. Jay encouraged us to keep “desludging” our relationship, so that the water might run deep and stay clear. We took to heart this piece of advice. Many of our conversations since then could be tagged “desludging.” I appreciate especially the times when we fight together for a “Better Me” as a wife, husband, mum, dad, friend, … When we talk quite openly about the things that have hurt us or were difficult to accept, and then we can think on the ways of how to express ourselves in a way which doesn’t cover us in sludge, but “lifts us up.”

It’s not pleasant to listen about your mistakes, but such conversations are really beneficial. First of all, I begin feeling grateful that I’m not alone in my struggle for a “Better Me.” That it is not only God, who’s trying to protect and develop as much good as possible in me, with His unswearving patience – but there’s also my Husband,  “who cares so much for me.”.

“Desludging” is the method we have tested over the years – a way of being able today to shape our “better tomorrow.”

Basia