April 27, 2012 8:58 am

A couple of years ago, during the reatreat for families on the Wolin Island, Poland, Fr. Jay used this metaphor of a river to talk about married life. He said, over a time, sludge deposits in the riverbed. And you have to be able to deal with this muddy staff.

Sledge is whatever hurts us in marriage – misunderstandings, unkind words, hurtful behavior, unfulfilled expectations, etc.

Fr. Jay encouraged us to keep “desludging” our relationship, so that the water might run deep and stay clear. We took to heart this piece of advice. Many of our conversations since then could be tagged “desludging.” I appreciate especially the times when we fight together for a “Better Me” as a wife, husband, mum, dad, friend, … When we talk quite openly about the things that have hurt us or were difficult to accept, and then we can think on the ways of how to express ourselves in a way which doesn’t cover us in sludge, but “lifts us up.”

It’s not pleasant to listen about your mistakes, but such conversations are really beneficial. First of all, I begin feeling grateful that I’m not alone in my struggle for a “Better Me.” That it is not only God, who’s trying to protect and develop as much good as possible in me, with His unswearving patience – but there’s also my Husband,  “who cares so much for me.”.

“Desludging” is the method we have tested over the years – a way of being able today to shape our “better tomorrow.”


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