Sometimes when I apporach you, you flutter your wings like a wounded bird.
You expect the worst where I come with My love.

You don’t recognize me when My hands are lifting you up.

And you are still afraid when I dress your wounds.

I’d like so much to have your trust, and I’d like it to remian unshaken.
I’d like you to let Me love you.

I know every beat of your heart.

Jesus

There is the pain of the rejected, for whom there was no room to become someone they would have been, had they been given the chance to come to this world. The Father of Love and Life, taking them in His arms, must have surely explained it to them that the reason for rejection was not their fault. That they weren’t off-putting, too complicated and too difficult, dangerous and ugly, and thus related with the trash they ended up in before they managed to take the firtst breath.

There is the pain of those who did not accept them, because something was missing – knowledge, courage, love, support from the others. Because there was someone who suggested a quick solution for a modest fee, but gave no guarantee for the consequences. And will never listen to that ear-splitting inner cry of the years to come. The cry which echoes that first cry which has never resonated in the hospital room. And will not miss the warmth of a cheek. And will not ask himself the question who it would have become, if.

Many people say both kinds of pain have been just made up. It really is sometimes denied to such an extent that it is not believed to exist.

But “pro-life” does not result from the detachment from reality. “Pro-life” arises from the pain of the former and the latter.

Małgosia

I drive past a hoarding advertising a bikini swimsuit. Michelangelo woudln’t have sculpted the body better, all in the right place. Especially the flat tummy, as flat as an iroing board – speaks to the world of the ideal of a body bearing no marks of motherhood. And yet it offers so limited space that it may not house life

I should express my gratitude to the shop which put up the advert. Because I start thinking with gratefulness about all my pregnancy stretch marks, and all the additional centimeters in my waist, which will never shrink to the shape of a teenager. Because all those marks remind me of the greatest secret of my life: that you can give shelter to someone who wasn’t there a while ago.

And I think how much of a lie is hidden in this visual ideal of a woman, whom you might count in pieces and sell together with the bikinis. And I can only imagine how much more free and rich in our hearts we, women, would be, if such pictures weren’t distributed to us – for no charge and everywhere.

Małgosia

I know well that you watch over those who place their every hope in You (…) That’s why I have resolved to live from now on without fear, and offer to You all my cares and all my sorrows.

The author of that “Prayer of Trust” was St Claude de la Colombierre, spiritual father and friend of St Margaret Mary Alacoque. I’m recalling those words and before the new day begins, I’m trying to see the lessons learnt from the day that ends: my telling the Lord that I trust Him may be so far away from practice of everyday life.

Because to trust – means to admit to failure and ask for help in the right moment. To trust is to be able to change plans, when situation requires, since it’s there, in the unpredictable “Emergency Plan” i will meet Him. Trust means to let the other person disturb me, when they want something from me at the “wrong time”. To lose something. To swallow up disappointment.

So being careless in the Christian sense is not all that easy. “The adult” in us still believes he/she knows better and is able to handle things on their own. It’s only “the child” who relies on the Father, because His love is endless… and He know so much more. He never hurts. And is very patient explaining life to His child.

Małgosia

“Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against.” (Matthew 2:25)

In the most difficult moments of our married life I reminded Lord Jesus of His own words – asking for His help.

Sometimes we have no clear idea of what we need. All we know is that we’re not getting it, that things go wrong. In order to get rid of the anxiety, we pass it forward – to the husband, wife, children. And that doesn’t help, either – as the love we are trying to get can’t be won by a scream.

It is good to have a break and look inside. It’s good to look after oneself. It’s good to search for the source of one’s own anxiety, to have a look at the unsolved problems, complexes, fears. Our spouse may not have the remedy for some of our ailments – but God’d love that heals may cure them.

In His arms you can scream out your pain, you can cry it out with tears streaming down your cheeks. His great – and so tangible – love will be the witness that will never lose faith in you! And then you can accept His word of peace. The peace for your heart, the peace for your marriage.

Małgosia

😉

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”  (Matthew 6:26)

That’s how our God devised things: when I start taking care of the other people, He – in the meantime – takes care of me. When I only “look after number one*,” I waste a lot of time and energy, and I spoil His chance to look after me. And He’ll do it much better than I could – left to my own (poor) devices. I’ve experienced that many times. 🙂

Małgosia

*take care of myself first

Success tastes great.

But it is facing the failure that is a real challenge. Because you have to cope with disappointment, sometimes anger and shame. You have to include in your self-portrait weakness, powerlessness, mistake. How much understanding have I got for our Polish national football team after their last (lost) match.

We imagine the path of our development as constatnt ascending above our limitations. But nothing teaches so good as failure, as the hard landing which finishes the flight on the wings of our own capacity.

Afterwards you can start from scratch, from the mustard seed. From learning the alphabet of love, patience and service. With Him. And it is the weakness, not success, which attracts Him to us. He can act when our self-sufficiency gives up.Our helplessness touches His heart.

Yes, we are called to ascending. In His arms, when He bends over to lift us up.*

Małgosia

*You can read in the book by little Therese of Lisieux.

I was 16 years old when I arrived at Paray-le-Monial in France. The participants of Session des Jeunes came from various corners of Europe and the world – we, Poles, were then just a handful. I remember very well the Holy Sacrament placed in the middle of a meadow. You could come and stay there any time of day. In the rays of a huge simple monstrance there were young adults, the elderly, families with children – some kneeling, some sitting, and some of them even lying on the grass. So many people – in such complete silence, the silence free of anxiety.

I was surprised to hear during one of the meetings that Paray was where my Patron Saint – St Marguirette Marie Alacoque used to live. Anyone could go to another place of the adoration of the Holy Sacrament – the chapel where Lord Jesus told St. Margaret about His Heart: that it loves beyond reason, that it is compassionate but rejected and in pain for the lack of reciprocity. And it’s ready to give.

There is nothing in this Heart that would be alien to human heart – except for the sin. There is no such sadness, disappointment and joy that this Heart wouldn’t be familiar with. It’s a safe place for a home. It holds a special place for your own heart. And for those you love.

If you want to fulfill the wish of Jesus, which he confided to St. Margaret in Paray-le-Monial, tell Him that you love Him. He needs so much to hear it just from you.

Małgosia

come and visit My Home.

Even though everyone may come, your place cannot be taken by anybody else. Even if your name hasn’t been written down on the church pew – remember? – it’s engraved on the palms of My hands.

Come and be My family that I look forward to seeing: my brother, sister and mother. Become one of My near ones, as I am always the closest to you.

And I haven’t planned neither Myself, nor you, as an isolated entity. Even though you are so Exceptional and Dear for Me, I haven’t shut you out in the pain of your loneliness.

Your

God (Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit)