difficult happiness

June 28, 2012 12:28 pm

Sometimes you feel this huge need to pity yourself. To let the whole world know how much you’re suffering. So that the world could hurry to comfort you.

I felt like that, too. And that was when She arrived at our place – a young, beautiful woman. She was fighting to save her marriage. We supported her. Now she has to fight for her own self, for her dignity. She looked me in the eyes and said that even though it hurts so much, she is happy – because she can feel the proximity of God greater than before.

And I was ashamed. My longing for self-pity was gone.

I don’t know why for some people things didn’t work. And I have no idea why I’ve received so much that I can’t complain. The people I have in mind did not “deserve” being hurt so much. Neither did I deserve what I’ve got.

There’s only one thing I know: in both situations God speaks to us. And the ones who are crying out to Him from the depth of their wounds happen to be closer to hearing His voice than whose who forget about calling out to Him in joy. And with gratitude.

Michał

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