I drive past a hoarding advertising a bikini swimsuit. Michelangelo woudln’t have sculpted the body better, all in the right place. Especially the flat tummy, as flat as an iroing board – speaks to the world of the ideal of a body bearing no marks of motherhood. And yet it offers so limited space that it may not house life

I should express my gratitude to the shop which put up the advert. Because I start thinking with gratefulness about all my pregnancy stretch marks, and all the additional centimeters in my waist, which will never shrink to the shape of a teenager. Because all those marks remind me of the greatest secret of my life: that you can give shelter to someone who wasn’t there a while ago.

And I think how much of a lie is hidden in this visual ideal of a woman, whom you might count in pieces and sell together with the bikinis. And I can only imagine how much more free and rich in our hearts we, women, would be, if such pictures weren’t distributed to us – for no charge and everywhere.

Małgosia

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” (Matthew 9:12)

Since yesterday morning I’ve been with our youngest sonny in hospital, as we’ve been fighting for three days now with his fever and diarrhea. And indeed, we do need a doctor now. So that our fighting with the disease could be effective. And there are so many like us here. The doctors are competent, but the lack of improvement becomes irritating.

I’d like to ask you, Lord, for those who chose the doctor’s profession, so that they may have some of your concern and compassion, some of your willingness to give a helping hand to the ones who are not doing fine. And I’m asking you for the sick – so that they never run out of hope and trust in the hardships of their illnesses.

We’re all so often Your patients in need.

Dosia

“Patience achieves everything.” (St Teresa of Avila)

because you don’t know what to say or it’s impossible to say anything for any other reason, you can always express the most important message by your smile.

St Ursula Ledóchowska told her sisters to use that simplest kind of apostolate: “I’m teaching you a new kind of apostolate, which does not demand huge work, great mortifications and hardship, but which is – especially these days – very desired, necessary and effective, that is – the apostolate of smile.”

How good it is to smile to a child and its mum, to an elderly lady you pass by while taking a walk, when you see your husband getting back from work, or your wife, who – busy doing things – may feel your sight on her. And now you can simply smile to check how great it feels on your cheeks. And it’s worth to infect the others with your smile. At home, at work, in the street and on the journey.

🙂

Fr Jay

Yesterday I managed to surprise one married couple and appear on the 10th Anniversary of their Sacrament of Marriage – sharing their joy at the time that passed and looking forward with trust to the time yet to come. As every couple, they struggle for true love. They already know where the Source of Love is and how to draw on it.

On the way home I gave a lift to Vlodek. He used to be in prison, then he met a woman who’d been beaten, and then abandoned with two children, by her husband. He married her, brought up her children, led them to their First Communion, and then became the father of the woman’s third child. The priest in the parish refused to baptize the child, saying it’s been conceived in adultery.  Vlodek’s wife is ill with MS. She lost her sight. They sleep separately, because it’s difficult to become parents again in this situation. They go to the church, though the sacraments are not available to them. Every evening Vlodek prays with his family to the Mother of God – asking Her to be with them.

The next person to sit in my car was Jola, who thumbed a lift two minutes after Vlodek had got off. She was a bit tipsy. She started complainning about the people who pray ardently when they need something, but they forget to say “thank you”. Her left forearm was striped with scars after slashing, but she talked of the prayer of gratefulness like a zealous apostle.

The meetings with people always abound in presence of God, who does miracles in them – regardless of their stories. Yesterday I had the luck of meeting those people in person.

Fr Jay

I know well that you watch over those who place their every hope in You (…) That’s why I have resolved to live from now on without fear, and offer to You all my cares and all my sorrows.

The author of that “Prayer of Trust” was St Claude de la Colombierre, spiritual father and friend of St Margaret Mary Alacoque. I’m recalling those words and before the new day begins, I’m trying to see the lessons learnt from the day that ends: my telling the Lord that I trust Him may be so far away from practice of everyday life.

Because to trust – means to admit to failure and ask for help in the right moment. To trust is to be able to change plans, when situation requires, since it’s there, in the unpredictable “Emergency Plan” i will meet Him. Trust means to let the other person disturb me, when they want something from me at the “wrong time”. To lose something. To swallow up disappointment.

So being careless in the Christian sense is not all that easy. “The adult” in us still believes he/she knows better and is able to handle things on their own. It’s only “the child” who relies on the Father, because His love is endless… and He know so much more. He never hurts. And is very patient explaining life to His child.

Małgosia

Sometimes you feel this huge need to pity yourself. To let the whole world know how much you’re suffering. So that the world could hurry to comfort you.

I felt like that, too. And that was when She arrived at our place – a young, beautiful woman. She was fighting to save her marriage. We supported her. Now she has to fight for her own self, for her dignity. She looked me in the eyes and said that even though it hurts so much, she is happy – because she can feel the proximity of God greater than before.

And I was ashamed. My longing for self-pity was gone.

I don’t know why for some people things didn’t work. And I have no idea why I’ve received so much that I can’t complain. The people I have in mind did not “deserve” being hurt so much. Neither did I deserve what I’ve got.

There’s only one thing I know: in both situations God speaks to us. And the ones who are crying out to Him from the depth of their wounds happen to be closer to hearing His voice than whose who forget about calling out to Him in joy. And with gratitude.

Michał

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses … For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12: 8-10)

Why did St Paul write that? Why did he “delight” in his weaknesses, why did he boast about them? He – a great saint?

“The more you experience your weakness, the more your trustfulness should grow” – maybe that’s the key to understanding St Paul? In that thought shared by a very young Carmelite sister, St Elisabeth of the Trinity?

It’s good to experience the victory over one’s weakness, overcome it with your willpower, and self-improvement. Saints could do that. We know St Paul was able to do it, too.

But it is also good to see in one’s own weakness – as he did – an ally, and not the enemy you must defeat at any cost. It’s good to stop relying just on oneself and place the whole hope in Him – that He will carry me in His arms, He will protect with His grace the weakest places in me, He will take in His hands whatever seems to overwhelm and terrify me. Then always, when I am “weak” – He will make me strong with the power of trust. Maybe that’s what my weakness is necessary for – to become allied with trust.

Basia

“Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against.” (Matthew 2:25)

In the most difficult moments of our married life I reminded Lord Jesus of His own words – asking for His help.

Sometimes we have no clear idea of what we need. All we know is that we’re not getting it, that things go wrong. In order to get rid of the anxiety, we pass it forward – to the husband, wife, children. And that doesn’t help, either – as the love we are trying to get can’t be won by a scream.

It is good to have a break and look inside. It’s good to look after oneself. It’s good to search for the source of one’s own anxiety, to have a look at the unsolved problems, complexes, fears. Our spouse may not have the remedy for some of our ailments – but God’d love that heals may cure them.

In His arms you can scream out your pain, you can cry it out with tears streaming down your cheeks. His great – and so tangible – love will be the witness that will never lose faith in you! And then you can accept His word of peace. The peace for your heart, the peace for your marriage.

Małgosia

A man complained to his friend that whenever he went to confession he didn’t know what to say bacause… he suffered from “amnesia”. So his friend told him that he used to have the same problem until he’d found the perfect solution. When he intends to confess, he tries being unpleasant to his wife – to give her a chance to become angry and to list all the things he did wrong during the previous month. 🙂 And he’s ready to confess.

That’s the way it is – remembering the other person’s mistakes is a lot easier than recalling our own faults. And how much happier we’d be if we searched for the symptoms of our own selfishenss – and noticed all the altruistic gestures in other people’s bahvaiour.

I can assure you, we’ll be surprised by both. And our world will become so much more fascinating.

Fr. Jay